Coming to grips

I suppose there comes a time in most people’s lives where they have the opportunity to re-examine who they are, what they believe, what’s worthwhile and, in the case of Christians,  what does it mean to be a follower of Christ?

I say that there is a time when people could question it, and from the looks of things, not many are willing to take that journey.  But, I have to.   Things have changed.  The pain has gotten my attention.   Not the aches and pains of getting close to 60, but the aches and pains of life that are becoming visible in others. 

For example, I had yet another young man in the Bible discussion group I lead at a youth “boot camp” facility who lost a best friend to a gunshot.  That’s at least six of the 20 or so different young men in the study over the past couple of months who have lost someone they know–by violence.  A lady sat in front of us at church with her daughter..they were staying in our community so they could attend the sentencing of the man that had killed their daughter and sister.  Before I heard those, I had chosen to remain blind to that sort of thing, keeping it at a distance, and seeing it as a distant issue, someone else’s problem.  But these people were and are real.  I have seen the look on their faces. Heard the description–”I just held him in my arms, he didn’t know he was shot, he was just shaking, and…then he stopped.”  That was a real person.  Not some nameless, faceless image.  Not someone who deserved to lose a brother to a careless bullet.  And that’s just one example.

I keep running into issues that my former worldview is unwilling to face….. Things like the appalling state of much of Christianity in America,  the unwillingness to see anyone’s viewpoint but their own,  the incredible perversion that is created when people confuse their faith with their culture,  the self righteous attitude of so-called “conservatives” and so-called “liberals” regarding their approaches to the world’s problems,  the loss of credibility due to hypocrisy,  the perversion of Christian influence toward getting political power, unwillingness to listen,  and mostly unwillingness to love.  I hear them say,”it’s not really our business…those minorities just need to try harder, get a job,  get off the gravy train and make something of themselves.” These seem to be the same people that are worried our theology is getting liberal if we talk about hunger, poverty, AIDS, or other subjects where concern for real people comes up.  I’m not talking politics here, I’m talking people who call themselves Christians.. not all of them…just some. You know the ones..they are loud and more concerned about their self interest than they are about justice…justice is a liberal issue.  And ironically, some mean well, some try hard to be “righteous” and just want others to do the same…of course it has to be a certain view of righteous that must be enforced.    

 I have the right to say this, I think, because I’m mostly talking about me.    I suddenly heard Jesus talking to the Pharisees,  and I was standing there with them.  These issues are  forcing me to come to grips with who I am and who I’ve imagined myself to be.  I’m feeling that a reality that I had occasionally glimpsed over my almost 57 years is now unveiling itself for my personal introspection and growth…and the calling to do whatever my part is in that.    I don’t know yet exactly what that is. 

But God is faithful…and full of Grace.      Thankfully.     I need it….and so does the rest of the world.